Halloween

I used to break down from time to time
not this everyday
I used to see the silver lining
around every cloudy day

Fuck my optimism
utterly misleading
false hope
pride
These days aren’t just cloudy
they are thunder storming
flushing out my dry, dirty cavities
crying so hard it clears the sinuses
makes the nose bleed
sends me into convulsions
in epileptic frequencies.

You can’t cuddle me while I’m crying
and you’re erection is pressed against me,
then get upset that I can’t help but think
that all you’re thinking of is sex.

AND ONLY ONCE I’VE CONFIRMED THAT YOU ARE NOT GETTING LAID
(AND fyi I HAVEN’T BEEN FUCKING ANYONE)
You turn away, and turn in to sleep.
and don’t say another fucking word to me.
Despite my very really pleas for help
against the overwhelming urges to off myself.

You are just a well-aimed bolt of lightening on a day of heavy rain.
Although you’re behavior was predictable, expected, even typical,
I could not know when nor where you’d strike.

You did it in my room, alone, at night,
in the guise of kindnesses
in the guise of sweetness.

Excuse me, darling.
Only children trick-or-treat.

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About Jessica Lee

Jessica is a twenty-something poet who performs most of her work on stage in Spoken Word. She has found writing therapeutic since she was child, and has pursued it ceaselessly. She enjoys writing even the most fleeting thoughts and dreams as SensicalRavings. Between long retail shifts, she enjoys writing observational pieces (always with a slant) of locally relevant subjects as ALLGainesville. If you appreciate inspiring, coming-of-age suppositions, become a follower. Though it's not always roses, it's raw!

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