I Meant It. Every Word.

When I said I wanted love
I meant
hugs never enough
cuddling away cramps
that come and come again
I meant with conditions yet,
too, with consistency
I meant selflessly
I meant to say
nearly every day
I meant to tell you
that I care about the things you do
I meant to be exclusive
not excluded
not used
not ran through as fast as you can
experiments, yes!
but not wasted
not proven far too flagrant
but founded
and theorized into something
MORE
permanent.
Or at least
I meant to try
to make meaning from a loveless life.
I meant not to hyperventilate myself to sleep
wake up panting
heart racing
maybe a heart attack
will save me from my endless heartaches.
I meant for the chains in my heart lines to break.
Karma, inescapable.
Leave this life early,
On a whim,
And be tormented.
I must see it to end,
And be thankful for the lessons.

Advertisements

About Jessica Lee

Jessica is a twenty-something poet who performs most of her work on stage in Spoken Word. She has found writing therapeutic since she was child, and has pursued it ceaselessly. She enjoys writing even the most fleeting thoughts and dreams as SensicalRavings. Between long retail shifts, she enjoys writing observational pieces (always with a slant) of locally relevant subjects as ALLGainesville. If you appreciate inspiring, coming-of-age suppositions, become a follower. Though it's not always roses, it's raw!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: