I am so sick of being sad
And for all of my pain,
it helped him find happiness.
and I’m still crying
at the most inconvenient moments.
I wish I could just tell you
so I wouldn’t feel compelled to rely on this fucking town
and find out
that everyone knew before I did.
And feel even further pathetic.
Some people are savvy.
They know that two weeks means nothing
in the scheme of grieving.
They’re expecting the tears to roll out.
They want you to want them to be your shoulder.
Like they’ve done you some great service.
and again I feel weak.
and people are pitying me.
But if it only distracts me from being strong and independent,
then I don’t want it.
Everyone can just ignore me.