My Future: My Friend, Fuck You, My Friend

I don’t know
WHO you are
I don’t know
WHAT
YOU
WANT.

But you make me second guess myself.
Got my stomach twisted in knots.
Make me think I don’t know what I want.

Here’s looking to the future
For all your fears and doubts.
Here’s looking around
Looking inward
And knowing only indifference,
Discovering shifty ambivalence.
Staring stress in the eye
Falling to one knee
And promising to let it guide you
Through a daily grind that will summarize your life.

Here’s a look at loneliness
And where it’s caverns are carved in your heart
So you can crawl and hide
As often,
as long as you like.

Likening a lone flame to the Sun
And forgetting
And fearing
broad daylight.

Enabling the horrifying reality
That you may never emerge
Never grow
Close
to anyone.

That you may never
Learn your talents
Or exercise them in your occupation.

That you might look back
And never have accomplished anything
of worth to anyone.

That you might go years more
And never discover who you are.

That seasons will pass
And you’re existence will still feel phantom.

I don’t know
WHO I am.
I don’t know
WHAT I WANT.

But I’m sick of second guessing myself.
And twisting my stomach up in knots.

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About Jessica Lee

Jessica is a twenty-something poet who performs most of her work on stage in Spoken Word. She has found writing therapeutic since she was child, and has pursued it ceaselessly. She enjoys writing even the most fleeting thoughts and dreams as SensicalRavings. Between long retail shifts, she enjoys writing observational pieces (always with a slant) of locally relevant subjects as ALLGainesville. If you appreciate inspiring, coming-of-age suppositions, become a follower. Though it's not always roses, it's raw!

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