Lost My Drift

I’m looking up select phrases in my head
and comparing them to their translations in other languages.

To see if it feels any more intense.
The phrases themselves, seem to be, ambivalent.
But there are particular words
which give me pause.

Como perspicaz en Español.
Cuando quiero estar enfocado,
y cauto,
and keen.

How can I be more in control?
Can I hold onto a page from the dictionary
and finally declare that life has meaning?

Will words help me?
Complete thoughts,
earnest ideas,
idyllic dreams
they each seem to fail me.

I feel so compelled to give into status quo understandings.
Suspend my disbelief of every horrible thing
to feel plain and content for a time.

Faith is so hard to come by.
Except,
in the hum of hymns I am taken.

No preacher’s promises of God’s wishes
has ever come to fruition.
But I could be carried by the rhythm.

And my knees, like words,
are too weak to carry any weight.
Instead,
I allow the gentle beat to lift me away.

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About Jessica Lee

Jessica is a twenty-something poet who performs most of her work on stage in Spoken Word. She has found writing therapeutic since she was child, and has pursued it ceaselessly. She enjoys writing even the most fleeting thoughts and dreams as SensicalRavings. Between long retail shifts, she enjoys writing observational pieces (always with a slant) of locally relevant subjects as ALLGainesville. If you appreciate inspiring, coming-of-age suppositions, become a follower. Though it's not always roses, it's raw!

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