Reject this Reality

The more I try to be like you
the less I find worth living.

Am I living?
Or am I living life?
Whose life?
What is life?
And why must I survive?

The more I try to conform
I lose form
worse than jelly on the inside
smaller pieces, chunks
reduced to dust,
then particles,
and nil.

Worse than turning into nothing
I am nothing, still.

Help me
let go
break free.
See greater, better things
in front of me.
Make something for and of my dreams.

It’s like I have betrayed myself.
Discarding all that’s working.
I am still unhappy
empty
tearing at the seams

tears breaking tension from my
bright red eyes too often.

Pulling my hair back
I feel the strain of every strand
and the weak, wiry mess where its amassed.

Wash my face.

And, gently blubbering,
find a soft place to lay.

Fall asleep
and forget everything ’til morning.

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About Jessica Lee

Jessica is a twenty-something poet who performs most of her work on stage in Spoken Word. She has found writing therapeutic since she was child, and has pursued it ceaselessly. She enjoys writing even the most fleeting thoughts and dreams as SensicalRavings. Between long retail shifts, she enjoys writing observational pieces (always with a slant) of locally relevant subjects as ALLGainesville. If you appreciate inspiring, coming-of-age suppositions, become a follower. Though it's not always roses, it's raw!

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